Arguments' Language

Hi

Today is Sunday. A terrible Sunday. It's a Sunday full of arguments with a mobile company which has been driving me crazy since the very beginning. I am trying to be nice while talking to them, pointing out their mistakes very calmly, but the guy on the other side of the phone seems to speak another language. The brainwashed language I guess as he keeps repeating some slogans and he is not able to help me anyhow. Nevertheless, I thought it may be a good reason to write something about language etiquette.

My first concern was about "are there any linguistic techniques or tricks you MAY use while argueing in order to convince somebody that you are right?". One of the most frequent answers is (as it usually works in linguistics) IT DEPENDS. It depends on tenor, a term which refers to the participants of a conversation. Tenor was widely analysed by Michael Halliday, one of my favourite linguists, who was responsible for establishing the rules of systemic functional linguistic model of language. It may sound weird, complicated, but in fact it's an interesting topic to read as far language studies are concerned.

From my experience, I can see that there are the trickery phrases and their usage is strongly connected with our intention. What I sometimes hear in the shops and what really seems to work in a kind of formal type of an argument is the customer asking very loud for a full name of a shop assistant. Another trickery phrases are connected with the common behaviour of the customers who use the phrase 'higher level' meaning the manager of the company. As far conflicts with your boss are concerned, people tend to use a lot of passive voice. It's a natural reaction as the matters in such conflicts are usually of a delicate nature. Nobody wants to be blamed officially for doing/not doing something, thus they linguistically help themselves and use constructions deprived of the personal character. The last type of argument, I guess the most nerve-racking, is argueing with somebody who is close to you. In such situations we have a tendency to use way too many pronouns, e.g. You always.... or I never.... .

To sum up, it's a surprising observation about human language. Using simple linguistic devices or phrases such as "What is your name?" or "Give me your name, please" can function as a trick to make things work. If you know any other instances of the so-called trickery phrases, feel free to write about it in your comment :)

Enjoy your Sunday. In Poland on the 1st April it started snowing. Very funny. Especially for my spring shoes.

Take care,

Agnes